Every step seemed heavier than the last and the soft scuff of her slippers on stone echoed with the same finality of the great doors of her father's house slamming closed. Her life was at an end and it had hardly begun. For one fleeting instant, Lilith was consumed with a passionate hatred for her late husband lying so still on top of the distant pyre, but the firm hands on her arms forbade her to run. Flight was no longer an option.

The ropes about her wrists chafed as she reached up to brush away another tear from her face--a distinct contrast to the luxurious whisper of white silk that fell about her from head to toe. Such a shame to send such delicate cloth to the fire with her.

Lilith braced herself and stood up tall as they neared the pyre, not sparing a glance for either of her brothers at her sides. She would bring the family honor and go to her fate without protest. It was the only thing she could do. A flicker of movement caught her eye--a robe swirling as someone ducked back into shadow behind the others gathered around the pyre, but before she could look she was hoisted up onto the stacked wood. A rather lumpy bed for the last she would ever lie upon.

The spicy-mixed scent of pitch and torch-smoke tickled her nose as the priest raised his holy symbol of fire and began to intone the final rite of the dying. His voice boomed in the too-empty cavern, "Children of the Vara, we are gathered here today to witness the final moment of our beloved Seif as he begins his journey into the next life." His voice quickly faded to a muted buzz in the back of Lilith's thoughts as she stared resolutely at the flickering shadows on the ceiling far above. Patterns of soot webbed the stone, reminders of all the other ceremonies that had taken place here before. She bit back a sob, her teeth closing on her lower lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. She would not dishonor her family.

"... May the flames bring you to your rebirth!" With a shock that sent slow sensation of burning crawling through her body, she realized that the priest was done. The torch popped once, explosively, right before the priest thrust it into the logs of the pyre. Lilith's resolve to be silent crumbled, and she sucked in a deep breath to howl and froze, shocked to her very core. There, at the very edge of her thoughts, she heard it...

FIRE fire glee GLEE! burn, scorch, ash, burn FIRE! burn burn blister rend eat consume fire! burn buuuurrrrnn...

It sounded like the fire itself, the hiss and crackle that began to rise up around her, causing her hair to curl and smoke, and the silk on her body to smolder. Even as she began to writhe away, to arch from the flame, she released her pent-up cry to the unheeding ceiling. "Nooooooooooo....!"

She pressed her face into Seif's motionless shoulder, sobbing and shaking. His white shroud crisped under her cheek and began to flake away. Her body cringed, waiting for the pain to continue, even as she fought with her thoughts to keep the flames away. Her eyes flew open. Around her skin the flames slid, but they did not touch her. A golden haze obscured the cavern, shrouding it in light as brightly as it had been shadowed in dark before. One by one, her family looked into the flame and turned their backs on the fire, turning away to look for their son and daughter in a new form, a new life. In that instant, Lilith reached for them, her bound hands outstretched in supplication, lungs filling for the cry, 'Come back! oh please come back!' only to have every thought obliterated as fire slipped into her body and burned!

FIRE fire glee fire! burn, scorch! She shrieked wordlessly and forced the voices into silence again. Blood spattered the smoldering-white silk of her robe as she coughed. Writhing on the pyre, she rolled... rolled... and fell down the sloped side and tumbled across the floor.

She curled up there on the too-cold stone, shaking and smoking. Hands touched her and she flinched away. The priests had come. The priests had seen her escape the fire and were going to place her back within the pyre again... she had to get away! But even as she clawed for enough breath, the darkness came upon her and swept her down into itself.

Wakefulness was slow in coming, and it arrived without remembrance of self or situation. Lilith blinked without comprehension at the unfamiliar rock overhead. She twisted a little on the hard pallet and frowned as pain came to her. She lifted her hands to find them bandaged, and winced as the rawness of her throat made itself quite apparent. Memory came back in a rush. She struggled to sit and look around, surprised at the helping hands that appeared to assist her. She looked for their owner and screamed, only to fall back into the bed in a fit of coughing.

When she was finally in control of her breathing again, she looked up. In the far corner a figure huddled, hidden in ragged robes and shadow. Only eyes the color of the sky showed in the low light. Lilith extended a bandaged hand and tried to speak, "Please..." She wince at the sound and the pain but tried again, "Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...."

The figure emerged from the shadow slowly, the blotches of its ragged robes resolving themselves into markings of blue and green on swarthy skin instead of tattered patches. The disfigurement was revolting. Lilith scrambled back into the corner of her bed again, and the figure sank to the floor, watching.

Lilith started at the soft voice. "You fair burn, my little phoenix." Musical tones filled the small cavern. The creature smiled, "I am Yasa," Lost one. "I did bring you here. I could see... I did see what you did. I did see you do it so I went to watch. Came to see you do it for true. They did not think of you wisely when trying to burn you on the pyre, did they, little phoenix?" The half-breed's ramblings faded into laughter as the woman eased herself to the floor, making no move toward Lilith. She waved her hand, "Sit. Sit. I will not harm you any more than you have already done to yourself. There is no need to cower in the corner...."

Lilith hesitated and then crept back out on the bed. "W-who are you?"

Impatience colored the other woman's voice, "I said to you, Yasa! Yasa lives here with friends." Rustling in the small cave answered her comment. The shadows flickered with movement.

Lilith pulled the blanket about her body protectively. "What do you want with me?"

"Saw you I did. Saw you in robes. Saw you...not here. The Sight says I must help you go there." Yasa nodded enthusiastically, "Go there, yes!"

"Go there? Where?"

"Too many questions you ask!" With impatience, Yasa surged to her feet. "You not die in the pyre, you not stay here!"

Lilith winced and closed her eyes. It was all too true. She was dead here, carried away with the ashes of her husband. She had survived the fire! It came to her with a shock. She had lived through the flames and was reborn. The thought turned over in her mind several times, and she examined it with new surprise every way she looked at it. The Fire had saved her! She turned her wondering gaze on Yasa and the woman replied with a chuckle.

"Yes. Yes. Amazing. But we must get out first! And you not go as you are now...

Certainly not. Lilith looked down at herself to see blood-spattered white silk, baked brittle and cracked from the heat on the pyre. She shuddered as much to see herself in the color of death as in such gruesome clothes. She looked up to this old half-breed in surprise and blurted, "But how?"

"Come! Come. Yasa show you." The next few moments were a blur of activity. Lilith was visited by several from the shadows. Another half-blood who took Lilith's wrists and pressed her lips to each bandaged palm, erasing the pain. They took off the bandages to reveal her hands unburned. She also passed her hand over Lilith's throat but shook her head apologetically before disappearing again. Lilith touched herself wonderingly--the pain was gone.

"What?" She winced at the sound of it. Her voice pained her not at all, but the sound of it was harsher than that of a kshatri quarter-master.

Yasa shook her head, returning with her arms full of cloth. "Ah, child. She couldn't help you any more. Take what blessings you can get." She helped Lilith remove her clothing, and began to bind the young woman's chest flat and wrap her waist repeatedly in long lengths of cloth. Finally, she passed over a bundle of clothing. "Put on." Yasa disappeared down a tunnel.

With slow, fumbling hands, Lilith unbound the bundle and stared with horror at what she had been given. Where was the veil?? Men's clothing! She couldn't wear that! But looking down at her bundled body, she suddenly understood. She clothed herself uncertainly, fumbling with the ties until at least everything stayed on. In a polished bit of bronze she saw herself, distorted. She looked every bit the young man.

Yasa appeared at the entrance to the small cave, holding out her hand. On her back was a large bundle. "Come. Come. We go now. We go to Haven."

Lilith took the woman's hand and took one last look at the little cave, feeling it as the last she would ever see of her vara. With a sigh, she allowed herself to be led out and up to the surface and onto the road that would lead her to her new life.

Her last thought as she turned away from the great entrance to the vara was a fleeting moment of praise to the God. The Fire had saved her--had given her a new life. She should be thankful for that. As she was reborn, she would help create the world anew. As they set foot to the road, Lilith turned to Yasa and spoke.

"My name is Maya."

FIN  

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