Aether: News - Bad Sample Application

News

Sample Application (Bad):

Submitted by Marsyas@Aether

Name:
Ghaudius Exemplium Horribilis, Serpentium

Powers:
Shaping/Shapeshifting/Healing/Telepathy/Clairvoyance

Points:
2230 extra points, it's my first ever character on Ether.

Stats:
I want a force of 160, a stamina of 200, a reflexes of 180, a will of 300, a senses of 190 and a warfare of 200. And all of the magics I said at 200 a peace.

Story:
Ghaudius was borne on a hot summer's day in a backwater alley in Haven. Know one knew what to make of him because his skin was a scaley green at birth. He had a tail, stubby wings and a very long toungue but all of that melted off magically one night while his hysterical mum was recooperating from his entry into the world. All the gods of all the races had given him some peace of themselves, and then because they saw that he would be shunned and scorned, they made him the handsomest boy that ever walked the Ether. His skin became the sheened aqua of shallow ocean Atlanteans, his wings magnificent snowy white waves at his shoulders, eyes of liquid amber circled by honey-gold like the Varati, and his ears got the quivering points of the Sylvan. He was a mix of all races and none of them.

Even with his extraordinary new looks, his mother shunned him and screamed every time she saw him. Almost everyone did, but he was a happy boy nonetheless already showing the favorable temperament the gods had given to him because with his incredible gifts of the mind he knew he could make them change for the better and it worked because his mother suddenly grew to love him more than anything else in the world. And as he grew safe in his mother's love, he got even more powerful and he would make people do good things for others until the day his mum, who had been forced into selling her body for money to keep them fed and clothed, was murdered horribly by a dissatisfied customer.

It was then that he lost his temper, and half of Bordertown was laid waist. Days of revenge followed with not even the magics of the Delphi able to contain him. People began to flock to him in fear, promising him anything to stop his rain of destruction. Their tortured cries reached through the madness, clearing his mind and with this inner piece he heard his god speak for the first time. The mighty Voice spoke directly to him, touching his hero's heart, "Slay only the one who harmed you. These others are innocent and to kill them is wrong. They are yours to keep and protect because I have taken them from the other gods."

Ghaudius was very upset with himself, his inner regret turned to steelie resolve to capture the man responsible for his grief. Like a puppeteer mastering a marionet's strings, the vile culprit was made to dance to him while everyone watched. He danced for many days, and exhaustion claimed him giving him a final rest. When this vengeance was complete, Ghaudius' god, Serpentium the over-god of all others, spoke again in ringing tones of satisfaction with his beloved son. "To show my love for you, I give you my earthly form." And with that, Ghaudius transformed to a mighty winged serpent. When his tail lashed, quakes shook the earth beneath him. When his eyes flashed, mighty thunder roared down from the heavens. His tears became the rains to fertilize the fields and water the might trees of the Sylvan forests. But most of the time, he likes to look like himself, and sometimes he disguises himself as one race or the other to mingle with the people and help them in their misery. This mercifulness and chairity will become the pivot to his development in character now and it is what I will use to make him better.